Go Elf Yourself
by Light Within Darkness
Summary: AU. Twas the month before Christmas...and Sora's got a new, very interesting job at a department store, Roxas can't get away from the crazy redheaded neighbor, and a certain Santa Claus can't keep his eyes off a cute brunet elf. SoRiku, AkuRoku. GiftFic.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note****: I offered to give my best Internet friend and favorite reviewer **moon maiden of time **a KH Fic for the holidays, and she asked for a SoRiku/AkuRoku Christmas-themed Fic. So this was what I came up with. It takes a lot of its inspiration from an essay I read in English class called "SantaLand Diaries," which was one of the funniest things I've read this year. (And it was a homework assignment too, how ironic. O.O)**

**This story was going to be a one-shot, but after the fifteen-page long monstrosity I just finished writing, I decided to break it up into short chapters and make it a Ficlet. Since I have a very clear idea of where I want to go with this, this means there will be an unprecedented (for me, anyway) update every day, at least until Christmas. If the story isn't done by then, I'll just upload the rest of it on Christmas Day. **

**DISCLAIMER****: All I want for Christmas is the rights to "Kingdom Hearts." However, I don't think I'm going to get that. Sigh… "Kingdom Hearts" belongs to Tetsuya Nomura, Disney, Inc., and Squeenix. I own nothing but my Sora plushie. I also don't own the essay "SantaLand Diaries," which this story was inspired by.**

**DEDICATION****: For **moon maiden of time**, of course. She's reviewed everything I've written, even when I was just starting out, trying to find my niche, and was writing utter crap. She's also a great author in her own right, too. I'm very lucky to know her.**

**OK, I'm done rambling now. (Sorry, didn't mean to go on for so long!) Here's the Fic. I hope you guys like the style; I'm trying out something new for this one. **

**Go Elf Yourself**

**www. KeybladeMaster .com  
****Blog Entry 137  
****November 30, 2009, 9:59 PM**

Sora Aoyagi is back, everyone! It's been a long time since my last blog posting, huh? Moving into the new apartment took Roxas and me way longer than we thought it would. I only just got my desktop computer set up today. Who knew my brother and I had so much stuff between us? We spent the last few days setting things up in the two bedrooms, bathroom, and kitchen. The last room left to unpack in the new apartment is the living room, where I'm typing this up now. Roxas is rolling his eyes and tapping his foot impatiently behind me as I type, reminding me that I only have fifteen minutes because the towers of boxes in here are about to fall down and crush us.

Anyway, it's been two months since I graduated college with my twin brother, and I'm still surprised that Roxas got a job at the Highwind Networking and Communications Corporation so fast. As I'm sure you readers already know, HNCC is the premier computer networking business in the world, and they only take on the best of the best. That my little brother got a job there says a lot about how far he's going to go. And I came with him, of course, because we've been together ever since we were little and we can't imagine being apart now.

Roxas also can't afford an apartment in Hollow Bastion on his own salary. The rent prices in this city are insane, and they apparently pay new employees slave wages at Roxas's new job. (Roxas still says it's worth it for the opportunities it presents. I'm starting to wonder if he really is the more level-headed twin like he always says he is, or if this proves he chases crazy dreams as much as I do. Ha!)

The big news today is that I finally got a job! I've been out walking the streets of Hollow Bastion every day looking for work, scouring the "Help Wanted" section of the paper every day and visiting all the places that looked promising. After all that searching, I finally got one interview at a little coffee shop one day. The woman giving the interview asked me why I wanted to work in a coffee shop. I was nervous, so I said the first thing that came to mind.

"I really like coffee, but my brother won't let me drink it because I don't handle the caffeine highs real well. One time I had a cup of coffee and I had so much energy I started bouncing off the walls and accidentally broke a folding chair. And that was from decaf, so I bet I have even more energy on regular."

The woman's eye started twitching and she said that she didn't think I was right for the position. When I told Roxas what happened, he groaned and started banging his head against the kitchen table, asking the gods why I had to be so bad at job interviews.

But I've gone off topic. Today I was walking past the Radiant Garden Department Store, the biggest, fanciest, most expensive store in the whole city. Roxas and I couldn't afford to buy a piece of dirt off of their floor. But what made me stop was the flyer in the display window. It read:

HELP WANTED!

ARE YOU CHEERFUL AND JOLLY??

DO YOU LIKE CHILDREN??

LOOKING FOR A JOB THAT WILL WOW FUTURE EMPLOYERS??

RADIANT GARDEN DEPT. STORE IS HIRING ELVES FOR ITS "SANTALAND" ATTRACTION FOR THE MONTH OF DECEMBER.

APPLY WITHIN.

Assuming they weren't looking for child molesters (because that's what the flyer put me in mind of, unfortunately) I figured I'd be pretty good for the job. I was cheerful and happy most of the time, and all my younger cousins love me. And I had nothing to lose but what remained of my dignity, which was nothing compared to freezing my ass off on the street if Roxas and I couldn't pay the rent on the apartment and ended up getting kicked out. So I went inside.

I was directed towards Cloud Strife, a very angry looking man dressed all in black. He had blond hair that was spiked to rival my own and a pair of the bluest eyes I had ever seen. I spent most of the interview wondering if he wore contacts and staring at my lap, because he looked like he was about ready to grab the festive Winter Wonderland snow globe on his desk and hit someone in the head with it. I did not want to be that someone.

This interview went a lot better than the first one. It was also the shortest job interview I've ever done in my life. Cloud asked me why I wanted to work as an elf. I told him it was because I liked Christmastime and making people happy by spreading holiday cheer, which wasn't a lie. I love Christmas. When I was a kid I used to sneak downstairs after everyone else was asleep and sit in the fireplace waiting for Santa to come down the chimney. My parents would find me sleeping against the fireplace bricks in the morning, all covered in soot, and would make me take a shower before opening my Christmas presents.

Cloud sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose like he felt a massive headache coming on, and told me I got the job. "Be back here tomorrow for training, 8 AM sharp," he said. I nodded and walked calmly out of the store. When I got outside I started running through the streets, whooping and cheering with happiness. Roxas was just as happy as I was. When I told him he nearly crushed my ribs in a hug, and then we went out to the bar down the street, Seventh Heaven, to celebrate by wasting some of our precious money on booze.

Now that I have a job, I think I'm really going to like living in Hollow Bastion. Even though it's old, I love our apartment building. Our landlord, Merlin, is really nice, even though he keeps calling me "Miss Sora" (Roxas finds this absolutely hilarious.) The people living near us are business types in suits who go to bed early, wake up early, and aren't home most of the day.

We do have one crazy neighbor, though. He came by our second day here, introducing himself as Axel Pyru. He's the thinnest person I've ever seen in my life, and has what must be the spikiest, reddest hair in the world to boot-it looks like it could poke someone's eye out. He's also got really green eyes, with a teardrop tattooed underneath each one for some reason. Axel really seemed to like Roxas, because the first thing out of his mouth when he saw him was "Nice pants you got there. I bet you'd look even better with them off, though."

Roxas didn't take that comment too well, and he hit Axel in the stomach with his prized Struggle bat. Axel ran out screaming bloody murder along with a few swear words I've never heard before. Despite that fiasco, I don't think we've seen the last of him, because Roxas says Axel's always in the hallway using cheesy pickup lines on him when he goes down to the bus stop in the morning for work.

Well, I have to go now, because one of the boxes in the living room is falling over and it has Roxas's favorite lamp with the rotating fish in it. He's yelling at me to help him, so I'll post again later.

**Author's Note: The title of this story comes from a conversation I was having with Krystal. She says that during the holidays there's always an employee (or more) in the stores that's a real jerk, so you tell them to "go elf themselves." The title was originally going to be "Christmas Blog," but I decided I liked this better.**

**To my knowledge, the website Sora's posting his blog on doesn't exist. I made it up. (I think it would be awesome if such a website did exit, though.)**

**Well, I hope **moon maiden of time **and the rest of you lovely readers out there are enjoying this so far. As always, it would be much appreciated if you would leave a review on your way out.**

**See you tomorrow!**

**~LWD~**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note****: I'm keeping the ball rolling with Chapter Two! Sorry I'm a day late with this one, but it's an extra long chapter, so hopefully that makes up for my tardiness. Thanks for all the reviews/Story Alerts/Favorite Story hits, everyone. It made my day to see my Inbox so full of positive feedback from all you wonderful readers out there. XD Christmas cookies to all of you!**

**DISCLAIMER****: On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…The rights to "Kingdom Hearts?" Nope, I got two turtle doves instead. Darn it. -.- "Kingdom Hearts" still belongs to Tetsuya Nomura, Disney, Inc., and Squeenix. And of course, I don't own "SantaLand Diaries," either.**

**DEDICATION****: For **moon maiden time** of course! Since she's amazing and awesome and all that good stuff. :D**

**www. KeybladeMaster .com  
****Blog Entry 138  
****December 1, 2009, 7:42 PM**

Today was my first day of work. Well, not really, because I didn't do any actual working, but I get paid anyway, so I think it counts. I learned all of my duties as an elf at SantaLand (and believe me, it isn't all happy smiles and frolicking through the snow like I thought it would be. There's a lot of work involved.) I also got to meet the other elves I'll be working with. And believe me, they're some of the most…interesting people I've ever met in my entire life.

Anyone who knows me well could tell you I'm not much of a morning person. I like to stay up all night and sleep 'til the crack of noon, and I'd do just that if only Roxas would let me. After I'd hit the Snooze button on my alarm clock three times this morning, my darling little brother kicked my door open and dumped a pail of cold water over my head, yelling, "It's already 7:30, Sora! You're gonna be late if you don't get your ass out the door!"

I shot up in bed shouting something about ponies (according to Roxas, anyway, who says I always talk in my sleep and that it's really funny) I got dressed, fixed my hair, and shoved a piece of toast my twin had made into my mouth. This was all while trying to get my shoes on and get out the door, mind you. After I'd finally managed to tie the laces on both of my favorite black and yellow sneakers, Roxas practically shoved me out of the apartment, shouting, "I love you, have a good first day, now don't be late or they might fire you!"

I went down the hallway mentally cursing out all people and things blond and blue-eyed. Whoever tells you that anyone with blond hair is sweet, innocent, and fun is lying through his or her teeth. Sometimes I think Roxas is nothing but pure evil incarnate. (I love him anyway, though.)

"Baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I to-oh hey, you're not Roxas!" I looked up to see Axel leaning in the stairwell, his bright red hair practically making my eyes water that early in the morning.

"No, I'm not. Good morning to you too, Axel," I sighed, pushing my way past him down into the street.

"Hey, when you see your brother again, tell him I've got jelly doughnuts in my apartment if he wants one!"

When I finally got to the department store, I was told to wait in a small room on the second floor with a sign on the door that said "Elf Training" until the boss and the training instructors arrived. A bunch of other people were already there, sitting on hard plastic chairs and talking. It was really claustrophobic, with boring gray walls and boring industrial carpeting and a boring poster on the back of the door with "fun" tips on keeping company morale up.

Looking at the other people in the room, I was able to figure out the real reason why I'd been hired to be an elf. It was because I was short. I guess it makes sense from a business perspective…I mean, when you think of elves, you think of short creatures with pointed ears dressed in green, right? But still, it was kind of annoying to think I'd only been hired because I was a little on the small side.

I sat down, and before long I was talking with the only girls in the room, three sisters named Kairi, Namine, and Xion. Kairi was an aspiring actress, and if I were a straight guy I'd probably have been drooling over her perfect hourglass figure. Along with her shoulder-length wine red hair and sparkly blue-violet eyes, I couldn't figure out why she hadn't already gotten a part in a play.

Then I realized that she giggled at _everything_ I said. And Kairi had a very high-pitched, annoying giggle, too. I was telling her about how I'd just moved to Hollow Bastion with my brother and she started giggling like I was doing a stand up comedy routine. "Oh Sora, you're so funny!" She said, shoving my arm playfully.

I hoped she wasn't hitting on me.

Xion was trying to start up her own dojo in Hollow Bastion, and she took the elf job to supplement her own income while that was in the works. She had the same blue-violet eyes her sister did, but her hair was jet black and cut short. She was fun to talk to and more laid back than her sister. However, she was also a lot scarier than Kairi, because she had black belts in eight different kinds of martial arts.

The youngest sister, Namine, barely talked at all. She told me she was an art student, and she spent the entire time we were in the room working in a sketchbook on her lap, her long, light blonde hair hiding her face. She looked like a shadow compared to Kairi and Xion, with really pale skin and sky blue eyes. Still, she seemed pretty normal…that is, until I happened to sneak a peek at her sketchbook. The page I saw was covered in pictures of my face, from all angles-back, front, left, right, up, and down. She'd drawn me perfectly, even down to my messy, spiky brown hair. I would've admired her skill, except that she'd surrounded each image of my face with tiny hearts.

Girls are scary.

The two other guys in the room were Zexion Okazaki and Demyx Watanobe. Zexion was the quietest guy I've ever met in my life. He said hello when I came in and told me his name, and then he didn't say another word. His hair must also be the long sought after Eighth Wonder of the Natural World. For one thing, I couldn't figure out what color it was. It looked like a cross between blue and silver, but I also wasn't ruling out purple as a possibility. He had really long bangs that completely covered his left eye as well. I spent a few minutes trying to figure out if he even _had_ a left eye, but then he started looking at me funny, so I stopped.

Demyx never shut up, but he only talked to Zexion. Or rather, he only talked _at _Zexion, since Zexion seemed to find the industrial carpeting way more fascinating than Demyx and didn't say anything back to him. He didn't even tell him to shut up. I was kind of wondering if Zexion was going to snap and start strangling Demyx right then and there, because the guy was talking to him about damn near everything. (I wasn't paying attention, but it seemed like the word "sitar" came up a lot.) Demyx was the only one of us who was tall (I guess all the elves couldn't be short) and his dirty blond hair was styled into a mullet straight from the 80s.

He better not go into robbery, is all I can say. Anyone could pick Demyx out in a police lineup by the hair alone.

After I was waiting in the room for what seemed like forever, Xion said, "Hey, are people talking out there?" Everyone, even Demyx, got quiet and listened.

"Boss, I can train the new guys on my own! Why did you have to pair me up with _Sephiroth_?"

"He's been Employee of the Month for the past six months, Cloud. You, on the other hand, were consistently complained about in our Customer Satisfaction Surveys for having an 'attitude problem.' This is a chance for you to redeem yourself to me. And that's Ms. Saito to you, not 'boss.'"

"Yes, Strife, you'll probably scare away the new recruits if you train them alone."

"Oh, like you won't-"

"Enough, the both of you, or I'll dock your pay." And with that the door was swung open, revealing an angry-looking woman with very short yellow hair, wearing the world's tightest business suit and highest heels. Her bangs stuck up in what looked like two antennae, but the effect was anything but funny. I wouldn't have been surprised to see actual sparks fly from her electric blue eyes. Behind her were two men, one of which was the same Cloud who had interviewed me. He looked even angrier today, and was shooting death glares at the guy next to him, who had the longest silver hair I've ever seen on a man and creepy, catlike green eyes. He was also dressed head to toe in black leather, with enough belts and buckles adorning his clothes that it could have doubled as bondage gear.

"I'm Larxene Saito. I run the Radiant Garden Department Store," said the angry-looking woman. "That makes me your boss. Let's get some rules right now, before anyone here actually starts working. If I hear so much as a whisper of any of you stealing money or anything else from this store, I will dock your pay. If I hear about any of you disrespecting the customers, I will fire you. If I hear anyone talking crap about me, or your fellow employees, I will _ruin you_." She took a moment to look meaningfully at each of us. When she looked at me, her eyes seemed to burn straight through, right to the bone. I had a feeling I wouldn't be the only one whose dreams would be haunted by Larxene Saito. Demyx was nodding so hard I could hear his teeth clattering together, and Namine had gone paler than before, if that was even possible.

"These are your trainers for today, Cloud Strife and Sephiroth Ai," Larxene continued. "You will pay attention to them. You will learn what your jobs as jolly Christmastime elves entail so that you all can become what passes for competent workers around this place. If I find out that you have been giving either of them trouble…" Larxene left that threat hanging as she turned on her scarily high heel and left, leaving us all staring after her.

No wonder Radiant Garden has the lowest employee crime rate of any store in Hollow Bastion. With a boss like that, I wouldn't steal anything, either.

"OK," Cloud said, running a hand through his spiky blond hair. "Let's get started…"

"Do all of you know why you are here?" Sephiroth cut in.

"Hey! I'm running this training session, not you!"

"Actually, I believe that Ms. Saito put you here to assist me, Strife," Sephiroth turned to Cloud and gave him a huge smirk, which made Cloud flush bright red.

"Listen, why don't you just go back and kiss Larxene's feet some more while I actually teach these kids something useful? Y'know, besides Hair Care 101?"

Sephiroth's face darkened, and he looked for a moment as if he was actually going to hit Cloud when suddenly Zexion actually said something.

"Are you two actually going to train us, or are you just going to stand there all day and fight like imbeciles?"

Surprisingly enough, that actually shut Sephiroth and Cloud up. Who knew Zexion had it in him?

As I said before, the work of a department store elf is not easy. The first thing Cloud and Sephiroth did was to take us on a tour through the SantaLand area that we'd be working in. It spans almost the whole third floor, and it's really something else. All glitter and cottony snowdrifts framing a long, meandering path to a huge gold and velvet throne where Santa sits. Giant fake candy canes and gumdrops line the path, and robot snowmen and nutcracker soldiers wave from around the bases of two brightly lit Christmas trees near Santa's throne. The ceiling is covered in wreaths, holiday ornaments, and snowflakes.

Demyx really liked the SantaLand display. While Cloud and Sephiroth argued over how to correctly operate the snowman and nutcracker robots in case one of them ever malfunctioned and we needed to turn it off, Demyx ran up and down the path at least five times. He looked like a kid on Christmas morning, for lack of a better expression, with a big goofball grin on his face and his blue-green eyes lit up like light bulbs. "LOOK, ZEXY! THEY HAVE A LITTLE GINGERBREAD HOUSE OVER IN THIS CORNER!" He shouted.

I swear I thought I saw Zexion's visible eye twitching. Just in case he lost it right then and there, I started edging away from him. Namine, who was right next to me, followed my example.

Cloud and Sephiroth finally decided that if one of the robots does break down we should just get one of them and not try to handle it on our own. Sounded like a good idea to me, I definitely wouldn't have trusted some of my new co-workers with electronic equipment.

We also learned how to operate a cash register. The main idea of SantaLand is to go down the path, have your kid sit on Santa's lap, and then an elf will take a picture of it. The family can then buy the pictures from the store for the low, low price of only fifty bucks for a glossy package deal, and twenty bucks for a wallet size and a 30x30. Of course, since the pictures need to be processed in a lab, they won't actually arrive until January. Sephiroth stressed that we shouldn't tell the customers this, which led Cloud to start ranting about workplace ethics, which led to yet another argument that I'm not going into because it was stupid.

The cash registers are all insanely complicated. Each one's a big, heavy machine with a million buttons that looks like it came straight out of an old episode of "The Twilight Zone." And the buttons all have to be pressed in the correct order or else a light starts flashing above the register and the alarm starts going off. Of course, the order changes if the customer wants to use cash, check, or a credit/debit card to pay for a slip of paper that promises he or she will get photos at a later date. And heavens forbid they should decide midway through that they don't want the photos anymore. Cloud and Sephiroth argued (of course) on how to properly handle that, so I'm not really sure what to do, but I did gather that it involves calling over at least five supervisors, as well as a nightmare of paperwork. I decided that if I can't figure something out, I'll just say "Screw it" and give the customers their photos for free. Or maybe I can work out a barter system, like the customer can get me pizza from the food court in exchange for their photos.

I've already decided that I'm going to ask Zexion for help if I can't figure out the cash register. He got the correct orders of button pushing on his first try, amazing even Cloud and Sephiroth. Demyx couldn't figure any of it out and started banging his head on the counter in frustration. Xion karate chopped her register at one point, which caused the lights to flash and the alarms to go off. (Cloud and Sephiroth had one heck of a job getting that to stop.) Kairi hit some buttons that caused the cash drawer to burst open and shower her with the cash inside. Then everybody, our trainers included, scrabbled around on the floor for awhile looking for every last bill that fell out, because apparently Larxene counts all the money in the registers at the end of each day to make sure no one's stealing. Namine and I had the same technique. We both gave the register the hairy eyeball for a few minutes, then hit buttons. Half the time we got what we wanted, the other half the time the alarms went off. I'm calling that a success.

As elves, we take turns doing different things around SantaLand. One elf stands at the entrance to lure people inside and greet them. Another elf stands at the exit to guide people out so they don't hold up the line. Elves also take pictures (We all have to be very careful with the camera. Although it's easy enough to operate, customers complain a lot if the pictures don't turn out perfect. Sephiroth and Cloud showed us "photos gone wrong" where all that ended up in the picture was an elf's thumb over the lens or a kid's leg.) And of course we sell the photos as well. Elves also take turns being on "Santa Duty," or standing next to the throne helping Santa Claus out. Cloud and Sephiroth were really vague about what that entails, so I'm kind of nervous about it.

Elves who aren't on any specific duty just walk up and down the lines, chatting to the kids and being nice to them. Cloud and Sephiroth told us to say things like "Have you been a good boy/girl this year?" "Oh my goodness, you look so pretty/tall/smart!" (I don't know how a kid can look smart, but whatever.) "What do you want for Christmas this year?" (Isn't Santa already asking that question?) They also taught us some basic sign language in case we run into any deaf kids. Stuff like "Have a very Merry Christmas!" And "I love you!"

What Cloud and Sephiroth don't know is that Roxas and I learned some sign language because Merlin the landlord is hard of hearing. So I know how to sign things like "Santa's gone crazy and they're going to take him away to the funny farm now." And I could tell that Cloud and Sephiroth were signing "You are a piece of shit" at each other while they were teaching us.

Finally, we were all measured for our elf costumes. A woman from the clothing department, Tifa Lockheart, did the measuring stuff. The costumes are hideous. We all have to wear dark green tights, pointy-toed gold slippers, and a lighter green tunic with red and gold holly leaves on the shoulders and cuffs and a belt around the waist. And of course everyone gets a red stocking cap with a jingle bell on the tip. I guess that's so if the store ever got an employee nuts enough to steal the outfit, they could hear them running away in it.

Getting fitted for the costumes was really awkward, because Tifa has ginormous boobs and they always seemed to be right in my face as she draped me in green fabric. I don't think I was the only one who had that problem, either, because everyone, male and female, was red in the face and wouldn't look at each other after the fittings. This was followed up, of course, by Tifa giving us all a little pep talk about caring for our new uniforms before we left.

"Okay, everyone," Tifa said as she handed us all a Radiant Garden Department Store regulation elf tights, tunic, belt, slippers, and hat. "I want you all to take really good care of these uniforms, because you're not getting new ones if something should happen to these. If it tears, you have to sew it up. If it gets dirty, you've got to clean it on your own time. And please be careful about what you do in these uniforms, because I've cleaned some pretty nasty stuff out of them over the years. Sweat stains, vomit…blood, too, so be sure to watch your calendars, ladies…"

At this point, everyone either went a deep red or, in the case of Namine and Zexion, blanched and looked as if they were going to be sick. We all thanked Tifa politely and then got the hell outta there as fast as we could. I decided to take no chances and get my uniform to a laundromat ASAP.

I was on my way to the laundromat when I happened to catch a whiff of something really good. Inhaling deeply, my nostrils were filled with the smell of cinnamon, freshly baked pastries, and just a hint of hot chocolate. And my stomach took that time to remind me that I hadn't eaten since this morning, so I followed my nose down a few blocks to a little café on a corner, called "Sea Salt."

It seemed to be a popular spot, as every table was full. I managed to find an empty booth by a window, however, and relaxed with a cup of hot chocolate and an almond Danish. It was nice to just take a few minutes to eat and be with my thoughts. The café was really peaceful too, with a warm atmosphere and a low, peaceful murmur of conversation throughout.

"Excuse me, could I sit here?"

"Sure," I said, always the nice guy. The café was crowded after all, and I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

"Thanks." A guy around my age, maybe a little older, slid into the seat across from mine. Once I got a good look at him, I had to take a quick sip of hot chocolate to keep my mouth from dropping open. I burned my tongue a little, but it was worth it to keep from embarrassing myself.

This guy was drop-dead gorgeous. He had a perfect complexion-pale skin, but not nearly as pale as Namine, so it made him look good instead of like a ghost. Shoulder length silver hair that I swear almost sparkled in the dim café light, and sharp, ice blue eyes that focused on me with an intelligent, slightly mischievous glimmer in them. Despite the cold weather, he wore a yellow and white sleeveless muscle shirt. On him, though, it looked good, as the fabric showed every single one of his perfect abs. His whole body just screamed "I work out every day and am damn proud of it!" He had muscles everywhere. Subtle ones though, not the creepy bulging kind you see in professional athletes who have been on steroids for ten years. A white arm warmer graced one perfect arm. I risked a quick glance down and saw ordinary jeans and blue and white sneakers. Still, this guy could have been wearing rags and still looked as if he'd just walked out of Calvin Klein ad.

"I'm Riku," said the drop-dead perfect guy who'd just sat down across from me. _Me_!

"Uh…" I took another quick gulp of my hot chocolate to get past the lump in my throat. Smoothest move ever. _Not_. "S-Sora."

"Nice to meet you. Thank you again for letting me sit here. This is my favorite place to come and grab a quick snack before heading home, but during the holidays it's always so packed. All the shoppers, y'know?"

"Yeah." I grinned and felt myself relax a bit. Riku seemed pretty nice. (Nice _and_ good-looking? Unbelievable, right?) "It's my first time coming here, but I like it already. Even though it's crowded, it's still nice."

"You should come here during the summer, then. They make their own ice cream, and it's delicious. They call it Sea Salt, after the café, and it's…well, you'd have to try it for yourself. The taste is hard to describe."

"Sounds good. I love ice cream." You'd have to with Roxas as a brother. The guy's addicted to the stuff. We had cartons of nearly every flavor imaginable at home, and Roxas cleaned them all out weekly. I still don't know how he didn't get fat. The freezer at the apartment is already pretty well stocked now, and we've only been here a week.

"So are you new here?" Riku continued. "No offense, but nearly everyone in Hollow Bastion has been to the Sea Salt Café at some point or another, at least for the ice cream. And I hadn't seen your face before, so…"

"Yes, I'm new here. Just moved to Hollow Bastion with my brother actually. We both graduated from college not too long ago."

"That's cool…"

And before I knew it, time had just flown by. Talking to Riku was surprisingly easy, like talking to my best friend Yuffie back home. I learned that he lived in an apartment with his friend Tidus and that he was originally from the Destiny Islands. But Riku thought it was boring there, so as soon as he got an opportunity he came to Hollow Bastion for college. He'd majored in theater, but it hadn't worked out because he got horrible cases of stage fright every time he had to perform for more than just his class and was reduced to just stammering nonsense words for a few minutes on stage before running off. (He blushed when he told me this. I thought it was cute.) Then he switched to being an art major, and even now he occasionally sells a painting in order to supplement his income. He thinks cats are cooler than dogs and his favorite color is black.

I told him about growing up in Twilight Town with Roxas and about our new apartment, and we shared a laugh over Roxas's new "paramour." I even told him about my job as an elf at the department store, although I was really embarrassed. Telling a guy I thought was hot at a café that I was Christmas elf in tights was not something I wanted to do. But Riku only smiled and said I had a lot of guts to do that. When he said that it felt like my insides had been replaced with warm goo.

Then I happened to glance at my cell phone, and I saw the time on it. It was nearly six, which meant I had to get home for dinner soon or Roxas would start sending me angry texts asking me where the hell I was.

"Sorry, I gotta go," I said to Riku as I got to my feet. "I didn't know what time it was, and my brother's gonna be wondering where I am..."

"It's OK. I have to go too," Riku cut in. "It was really nice talking to you, Sora. I hope I can see you again sometime." With one last smile that made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, Riku left.

Looking those last few paragraphs over, I've realized a few things. One, I've been gushing over Riku like a teenage girl over her first crush. I don't even know if he's gay yet, and already I'm talking like he's my one true love! I'm sure you readers are laughing at this, wondering what the heck is up with me.

Second, why didn't I get a phone number or something from Riku!? I could've called him or something, and then we could have at least hung out and talked some more, even if he wasn't interested in me in a romantic sense. Stupid, stupid, stupid…I just was so caught up in the moment, I guess I wasn't thinking. But I can't help wondering if I'll ever see Riku again. It makes me smile just to think about how he made me feel, all warm and nice inside.

Is this…love I'm feeling now? I wouldn't know. I've never been in love before.

I have to post this and go soon. There's scratching at the door, which means Axel must have let his cat Mr. Stripey out again. This is the third time he's used the "Whoops, my cat got out and mysteriously came over to your apartment, now I have to come over and get him," excuse to hit on Roxas. I don't know if Axel's running out of ideas or if he just likes this one for some reason. We don't know how he's convincing the cat to come over here, either. Roxas has checked the front door a hundred times already, and he can't find anything unusual. I can't either.

Roxas wants me to post this now and get the pepper spray for him. We bought a whole bunch of it in case we had trouble with burglars here, but so far Roxas has been using it all up on Axel to keep him out of the apartment. I wouldn't be surprised if our neighbor starts to build up a tolerance to it soon.

TTFN, and happy holiday shopping!

**Author's Note****: I'm actually quite proud of this chapter. I hope everyone else finds it satisfactory as well.**

**As always, please review on your way out. More reviews means faster updates, don't'cha know! ;) And please give me some feedback on how the blog format is working out for this Fic. I like it so far, and I think I'll be using it for most of the story, but I'd like to know what you guys think too.**

**REVIEW CORNER Thanks for Reviewing: **Neo Lady Sakura, Revolution Remix IX, Dlbn, Nekotsubasa, Jellicle-Wishes, Emerald Moonrose, moon maiden of time

**See you soon,**

**~LWD~**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note****: So…so many reviews! -faints- Seriously, everyone, thank you so much! I love how well this story has been received so far, almost as much as I love writing it. ;) I'm very happy that everyone likes this Fic so much. Christmas cookies and Axel plushies for all of you!**

**DISCLAIMER****: I may not own "Kingdom Hearts," but I do own Roxas! And by that, I mean I own a Betta fish that I named Roxas. What, you thought I actually owned any part of "Kingdom Hearts?" Psh. Of course I don't. I don't own "SantaLand Diaries," either, though I encourage all of you guys to read it. It's hilarious.**

**DEDICATION****: For **moon maiden of time**. Because she is so awesome, she gets an insane FanFiction from me where Sora's in a wacky elf costume and Roxas is nailing Axel in the face with pepper spray. Only for you, dear. XD**

**Let's not waste anymore time here, hm? On to Chapter Three!**

**www. KeybladeMaster .com  
****Blog Entry 139  
****December 13, 2009, 10:37 PM**

Man, have the last few weeks been busy! I finally started my work as an elf, and even though I only work a few hours each day, I'm beat by the time I get home. Dealing with all the people who visit SantaLand at the mall each day is hard work. The last few days I've just been crashing on the sofa until Roxas gets home, and then we have dinner, watch TV, and I convince my twin not to call the cops on Axel before going to bed. Roxas gets really pissed whenever anyone so much as mentions that guy's name. It's getting to the point where if I even happen to say the word "red" in a sentence he goes off on a rant about how Axel tried to grope him down by the bus stop that morning or something. The funny thing is, I don't know why our neighbor is inspiring such a reaction in my brother. Axel's kind of weird, sure, and maybe more than a bit perverted, but it's nothing we hadn't seen before in high school and college. If I didn't know any better, I'd say Roxas actually _liked _him.

But that can't be right. Axel isn't really Roxas's type. Not that I know what his type is, anyway. He never dated much, aside from a brief fling with his best friend in college, Hayner. Hayner acted like a tough guy, always picking fights with Seifer down the hall, but he was really sweet underneath. Him and Roxas never even so much as held hands in public, though that may have been because after a week or so they decided that they were better off as friends after all and mutually broke up. Nothing at all like Axel, or as Roxas calls him, Mr. I-can't-keep-my-hands-to-myself, followed by a bunch of names not fit to put in my blog. (I do try to maintain some standards, after all.) Right?

Anyway, I should stop talking about Roxas now. When I started this blog around two years ago, my brother said he didn't care what I put in it as long as it wasn't about him. Lucky for me he's too busy with his new job now to read my blog with any sort of regularity anymore, so I'm safe for now.

Anywho, I'll get back to me now. I can't put down exactly what I've been doing the last few weeks down here in great detail, or I'll be writing a full-blown novel here. (Some days have been really boring anyway; I just work the register and try to avoid setting off the store alarm.) But I can put down the more interesting (read: batshit insane) things that have happened to me lately.

My first day at work I learned why everyone hates the employee changing room. Since no one in their right minds would wear the elf costume on their way to work and risk a lifetime of ridicule from people on the streets, we get changed in two teeny tiny locker rooms in a back area behind Santa's throne. I can't speak for the girl's room, but the guy's locker room was maybe a little bigger than an old phone booth, plus it was half-flooded from the restrooms on the floor above. Me, Zexion, and Demyx all had to get changed standing side by side on a thin wooden bench up against the walls. Demyx fell off the end of it when I accidentally kicked him putting my slipper on. He didn't seem to mind that his costume was soaked, though; he said he likes getting wet. I'm starting to think he's part fish now.

The elves' stations for the day were posted on a piece of paper out in the hall. While I was checking that, I happened to catch the back of a familiar figure walking past me. Although most of the guy's head was covered by a red and white Santa hat, I glimpsed a bit of telltale silver hair poking out underneath. That combined with the nice way his back muscles moved beneath his shirt had me running after him only a second later.

"Riku?!" I cried, almost not daring to believe it could be him.

The guy turned around, and sure enough, it was the same Riku I'd been swooning over from the café. My heart did a backflip at the way those aquamarine eyes shone at me. "Oh hey! Sora!" Riku said, and I felt ridiculously happy just hearing him say my name.

"I didn't know you worked here," I said, still giddy from my sudden incredibly great luck and unable to keep the huge, stupid grin off my face.

"Yeah, I thought I'd see if I could get an extra job for the holidays. I may need to find a new roommate; it's looking pretty likely Tidus is gonna be moving in with his girlfriend soon. So I figured some extra money couldn't hurt while I'm looking, and I got myself hired to be a Santa Claus here. Cool, huh?"

"Yeah! And I'm stuck being a lowly elf…"

"Don't worry about it. They've got me stuck in this horrible fat suit as part of my costume. At least you won't be sweating to death while you're working."

"RIKU AGATSUMA!" Riku and I both turned around to see Larxene walking towards us, looking pissed as hell. Upon seeing the Boss Lady from Hell, I had the sudden strong urge to run and hide in the locker room, which I resisted with difficulty. "This is not the time for socializing! Get in there and get your costume on before I fire your ass! And as for you, Sora, you'd better get out there right now or I _will not be pleased_."

"See you later," Riku whispered as I practically ran out to the relative safety of SantaLand. "We can meet up for lunch, OK?"

The thought of getting to spend time with Riku again had me floating through the morning. This turned out to be a good thing, as thoughts of Riku were practically the only thing keeping me sane at work that day.

I was working the entrance that day, which meant that I had to yell out stuff like "this way to SantaLand!" coupled with enthusiastic waving in order to get people to come in. Of course, a lot of families were attracted to SantaLand just by my costume. At least that's what I figured, since at least half the people who came over were dragged by little kids crying "I wanna talk to the boy in the funny hat with the crazy hair!"

Kids these days! Their parents should teach them to be more polite when in public. I mean, so what if combs tend to break off in my hair and it won't stay flat and neat no matter what I do? That doesn't mean it isn't cool!

Of course, some of the parents weren't much better. One little girl, who couldn't have been more than five, asked me if it was true that elves didn't get Christmas presents. When I asked her where she'd heard that, she pointed to the woman holding her hand and said "My mommy. She says elves give all the toys they make to Santa for the children and don't keep any for themselves."

At least the girl's mom had the grace to look apologetic. "Honey, I didn't mean it like that…"

I told the girl that she'd brought up a serious issue and that us elves were forming a union to address it.

The girl tilted her head to the side in curiosity. "What's a union?"

Her mother hurried her into SantaLand before I could answer that question.

A man, who happened to be walking past me and wearing the world's ugliest bright orange suit said, "Man, do you look stupid in that costume."

Oh, the irony.

I honestly didn't know how to respond to that. Normally I would have flipped him off, but I couldn't do that at work because I was supposed to be a family-friendly Christmastime elf. Not to mention I'd risk getting fired if I did. No one wants to see an elf that curses out the customers, even if they do deserve it.

So I told him, "thank you!" and flashed him my biggest, cheesiest, goofiest smile.

I still wish I'd said something like, "At least I don't get my sense of fashion from out of the Dumpster."

I was able to laugh about all of this later with Riku at lunch, though. He had plenty of horror stories of his own from his morning Santa shift, after all. My favorite was the one of the old lady dressed all in black and calling herself "Maleficent" who waited in line and sat on Riku's lap just like all the little kids were doing. Not sure how else to handle the situation, Riku asked her what she wanted for Christmas. She pinched his cheek and told him, "I want a nice, handsome, strong man around the house to keep me comfortable in my old age. Preferably one dressed all in red. Do you know anyone like that, _Santa_?"

The worst part was that she came back around and sat in Riku's lap again, making the same request of him as well. When he saw her in line a third time he quietly alerted store security. They had to drag her away as she shouted, "But that man is my Christmas present!"

I almost would have been a bit jealous of all these people sitting on Riku's lap and telling him all their desires when he said, almost casually, "Of course, I wouldn't have been into her even if she was young and pretty. I'm gay, you see."

I had to resist the impulse to leap up onto the table and yell "VICTORY!" Instead, I replied, "Really? Me too," ever the image of a calm and composed guy who just happened to be wearing an elf costume.

Well, actually, I'm sure I sounded a bit more excited than that, but at least my voice didn't tremble…much.

Riku grinned back at me, and my insides felt like doing a conga line. "Really? That's great! I've never met any other gay guys."

"Well, there's me, so now you know one."

He gave me yet another one of those amazing smiles. "Yeah, I guess I do."

That wonderful moment was quickly ended courtesy of Sephiroth. He came through the mall food court, where Riku and me happened to be eating, and shot us both a glare. "Break time's over, kids," he said. "Back to work now."

I seemed to get stuck with Santa duty a lot in the days following that first one for some reason. I'd be ecstatic about this if Riku was the only guy playing Santa, but unfortunately for me, he isn't. And the other Santas scare the crap out of me, to be honest.

Santa duty basically means that an elf stands next to Santa's throne and helps him entertain the kids while their picture is being taken. If Santa needs a drink of water, the elf on Santa duty is responsible for getting him a water bottle from the cooler next to the locker rooms. If Santa needs to go to the bathroom, the elf on Santa duty needs to cover for him by entertaining the kids until he gets back. I do this by singing Christmas carols. Badly, too, according to the faces the kids make while I'm doing it. Roxas is the one who got the musical talent in the family.

Yeah, Santa duty's a thankless task, but someone's gotta do it, I guess.

So far I've helped out two Santas: Xemnas and Marluxia. I've seen them both without their makeup and costumes on, and let me tell you, there's a lot that can be hidden behind a fake beard, a red suit, rosy cheek powder, and a Santa hat. Those two couldn't look less like Santa if they tried.

Xemnas has tanned skin, long silver hair, and incredibly creepy orangey-amber eyes. I try not to make eye contact with him when possible, and I think he freaks the kids out as well. The smaller kids, when put on his lap, simply burst into tears and no amount of funny faces I make at them will get them to stop. Xemnas just sits there smiling at the kid on his lap while said kid is crying, and I can't for the life of me figure out if he likes it or just doesn't know what to do.

I think Xemnas might be crazy, too. And by that I mean genuinely, can-we-get-a-doctor-in-here-now crazy. He keeps muttering about "the darkness of the heart" and "Kingdom Hearts" whenever he thinks no one is listening, like in the changing rooms or if you happen to bump into him during break. I've even caught him muttering stuff like "one day, Kingdom Hearts willing, the universe and all that it contains will bow to me," while on the Santa throne when he doesn't have a kid in his lap. The guy gives me the heebie-jeebies.

One time he asked a kid what he wanted for Christmas, and before the kid could even respond Xemnas said, "I know! You wish to donate your heart to Kingdom Hearts in order to help me further my plans for universal domination, right?" Then he started chuckling evilly under his breath. Both Xion, who was taking the photos that day, and I stared at him.

"MOMMY!" The kid wailed.

"Get this kid off my lap, Sora," Xemnas sighed after Xion had snapped a picture of yet another traumatized toddler. I was only too happy to comply.

I have no idea how Xemnas even got this job.

Marluxia, on the other hand, is the most flamboyant person I have ever met. He has really wavy, shoulder-length hair that's a bright pink in color, and I can't tell if it's natural or not. His eyes are dark blue, and you can hear him going on at length about how "mysterious" and "alluring" they are to anyone who will stand still long enough. I honestly thought Marluxia was a really flat-chested girl when I first saw him. Then I heard him talk and was shocked six ways to Sunday, to use an old expression of my mom's. He doesn't sound like a girl, at least.

Not surprisingly, Marluxia's really popular with the girls. He could go on for hours with them about the latest Barbie doll clothes and Hannah Montana CDs if I wasn't reminding him we that we have a two-minute time limit with each kid. Marluxia and the boys, however, don't really see eye-to-eye.

"I want a Transformers action figure!" One kid told Marluxia after being asked what his dream Christmas present was.

"Mm, but why?" Marluxia responded. "They're so clunky and unfashionable. How 'bout a nice Ken doll instead? They have excellent fashion taste. Beach Fun Time Ken's shorts are to _die_ for, in my opinion."

We keep getting a lot of pictures of really happy little girls and really weirded-out little boys whenever it's Marluxia's turn to be Santa Claus.

But aside from the headaches I get from dealing with the other Santa Clauses (and sometimes Demyx, if he's had too much sugar) I really like my new job. It's nice to be able to make people happy for the holidays. It makes me feel really good inside whenever a kid smiles at me and tells me I'm his favorite elf, like getting a dozen smiles from Riku.

Speaking of, Riku and I have been having lunch together every day now. I wonder if this means he feels something for me like I do for him? Well, I guess only time will tell.

**Author's Note****: And so ends the third chapter of "Go Elf Yourself." There are only two chapters to go now, so I should be done by Christmas, which is good. (Hey, I never said this was going to be a long Fic. Just funny and filled with delicious Yaoi goodness. Mmm. Yaoi. :P)**

**Once again, I'd like to thank everyone who's been reading, reviewing, and/or alerting. You all make my day and bring smiles to my face. Please keep up the good work!**

**REVIEW CORNER**** Thanks for Reviewing: **MrMissMrsRandom, Dlbn, Revolution Remix IX, LucifernSatan, Tysonkaiexperiment, mochiusagi, LILMISSS, Nekotsubasa, Jellicle-Wishes

**TTFN,**

**~LWD~**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note****: A very merry Christmas to you all, whether you be reader, reviewer, or someone who just happens to be reading this A.N. for reasons I cannot fathom. My Christmas gifts to you all today are the gifts of laughter and yaoi, in the form of the second-to-last chapter of "Go Elf Yourself." I'd just like to take a moment now to again thank every one of you for making me so happy with your lovely reviews and alerts. I couldn't ask for better Christmas presents from anyone. **

**DISCLAIMER****: "Kingdom Hearts" belongs to Tetsuya Nomura, Squeenix, and Disney, Inc. "SantaLand Diaries" belongs to someone who isn't me. I own a Sora plushie, with which I will someday conquer the world!! Mwahaha…(cuddles) Also, I'm making no money off writing this Fic. Which sucks, because I could really use the money. College isn't cheap, ya know. :P**

**DEDICATION****: To the ever-lovely **moon maiden of time**. I promised you a one-shot, which evolved into a ficlet, which evolved into…an actual FanFiction. Go figure. Well, you're worth it! :)**

**Less talky, more story!**

**www. KeybladeMaster .com  
****Blog Entry 140  
****December 17, 2009, 5:02 PM**

I am just so incredibly, unbelievably, ridiculously happy right now. I cannot stop smiling, even as I write this. Roxas thinks that I must be going nuts, because right after the most amazing thing in the world happened to me, I ran home and told Axel, of all people, because he was the first guy I saw. Then I told Roxas when he got home, and of course I had to post it on my blog after dinner, which is what I'm doing now, obviously.

"One would think this is something you could keep to yourself, Sora. The whole world doesn't need to know that you got a date. And no offense, but they probably don't care, either." He's saying right now from his favorite chair next to the heater, shaking his head at me.

Well, I think that the entire world _does_ need to know I got a date. If it were up to me, I'd climb to the highest point of town, where the ruins of the old Hollow Bastion Castle are located, and scream from the top of my lungs, "HEY WORLD! SORA AOYAGI JUST GOT A DATE WITH RIKU AGATSUMA!"

Not to mention that my hit counter has been through the roof lately, so I guess that must mean _somebody_ out there is interested in my life. And that includes my upcoming date with Riku.

So there, Roxas.

Hmph.

Oh, sorry. I'd better back up a little and start from the beginning. I'm sure everyone reading this right now is scratching their heads, wondering just what I'm going on about and why I sound like a squealing teenage girl again. Well, it all started at work today, as it seems like everything does lately.

I got put on Santa duty today, again, and this time I was helping out a new Santa, a guy named Luxord. Luxord's definitely the most normal-looking guy here, aside from the British accent. He's got short platinum blond hair, a neatly trimmed goatee, and sharp, crystal blue eyes that observe the world around him in detail, but with humor. (This description of him was taken from his profile, which I saw on one of his cell phones. I thought it was pretty funny, especially the bit about the eyes.) However, despite his appearance, he has just as many problems as anyone else working here.

Well, actually, Luxord just has one problem. A gambling problem.

Luxord has the most electronic devices with him out of anyone I know. He's got three cell phones, at least one of which is always ringing, vibrating, beeping, and/or singing an annoying ringtone, a pager, a beeper, a Bluetooth, and a handheld personal organizer. The guy is always fooling around with at least one of these devices. He's either moving appointments around on the organizer, talking to a guy named Auron on the cell phones, or running around looking for his phones because his beeper and/or pager went off.

Luxord insisted on keeping his Bluetooth in his ear while working his Santa shift. Since it was Larxene's day off and the assistant manger's a total wimp next to her, he got what he wanted. It was really weird for me seeing a Santa Claus with a big blinking piece of plastic and metal nestled up against the beard, like a bad cell phone advertisement. And of course, it wasn't long before that Bluetooth started buzzing and everything went to hell.

"'Ello, love," Luxord said to a little girl placed on his lap. "And what would you like for Christmas…oh, would you just hold on a second?" He pushed a little button on his Bluetooth and turned his head to the side, muttering, "Auron, is that you? What's the word on that three o'clock horse race?"

Evidently, not good. After a moment of silence, during which I observed Luxord's brow getting more and more wrinkled out of unease, he yelled, "What do you mean, Clicker Clocker came in last?! I bet eighty bucks on that animal!"

The little girl, who was still sitting on Luxord's lap, tugged on the red sleeve of his Santa outfit. "Um, Santa? Are you OK?" She asked.

Two seconds later I found the girl being shoved into my arms. "Help a chap out, would you lad?" Luxord asked me, a pleading note in his voice. Then he ran off (or waddled off, really; no one could really run in those Santa Claus fat suits,) still shouting into the Bluetooth. "Don't you tell _me_ to calm down! You're the one with your panties in a twist, Auron!"

He must have looked like a real nutcase to all the people watching. A guy dressed up like Santa, having a conversation with what would seem to be nobody… Where did the department store hire these people, the psychiatric ward?

"Say 'Christmas!'" Demyx cried, trying to salvage the situation. He ended up taking a photo of a shocked girl being held by an equally shocked elf. I'm sure that'll be a keeper.

Luxord never came back. I have no idea where he went, but the line to see Santa started to get really long, and everyone started to get restless. You wait on a line for a long time and it starts messing with your head.

"Where's Santa!?" One lady demanded.

"We want Santa, not some lowly elf!" Another guy cried out. I would've taken offense at that, but panic was starting to override my other emotions. I was worrying that people would get violent if Luxord didn't come back or another Santa didn't show up. Stranger things have happened, after all.

"Santa will be here in just a little bit, folks!" I yelled out over the muttering crowd. "He's, uh…just having a little talk with the other elves in the toy workshop! Yeah…"

This only brought on even more furious mutterings from the crowd, and I could see that the line to see Santa was starting to stretch out towards the escalator on the other end of the third floor. "Demyx, a little help here?!" I whispered.

"RUN! RUN AWAY!" Five seconds later the camera was abandoned as Demyx made a beeline for the locker rooms. A cardboard cutout of a Christmas tree toppled over in his wake. I didn't know anyone could run that fast, and I never felt more like strangling someone than I did in that very moment.

A few seconds later, though, my savior arrived in the form of bright aquamarine eyes, long silver hair peeking out beneath a fake beard, and a cheery "Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas!" Everyone cheered as Riku swept out in full Santa garb, taking his place on the throne and gently accepting a kid into his lap. He shot me a big wink and a smile, and I felt like I could have kissed him. (I really, really wanted to, actually.) "Need a little help, Sora?"

"You have no idea. I was scared they were gonna kill me! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Anytime."

The line was so long that Riku and I ended up working straight through our lunch breaks in order to get it moving. We had each kid on the lap, off the lap in two minutes flat, and by the time SantaLand closed for the evening, I was exhausted. It was a good kind of exhaustion, though, the kind you get after a job well done. Riku and I were the heroes of SantaLand. Everyone, elves and Santas alike, came up to congratulate us on a job well done. Even Cloud and Sephiroth shook our hands and, in a rare display of agreement from the two of them, said we'd shown them the finest display of teamwork they'd seen in all their years at Radiant Garden.

Riku caught me alone after I'd changed in the locker rooms. Everyone else was heading out by then, eager to get home and rest, and we were the only two remaining in the back area.

"Hey Sora, could I talk to you for a sec?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"You…" Riku seemed nervous for some reason. He swallowed and kept looking down at the mildewed floor instead of at me. I started getting butterflies in my stomach. Was there something wrong? Had I somehow offended Riku? "You did real good today. Keeping it together in front of all those people, when they were all getting mad…that was really brave."

"It's not a big deal. Just doing my job, you know?" I was really getting weirded out now. Riku had never acted like this before. What was going on?

"I really like you, Sora," he said after a few minutes of shuffling his feet around. "Do you maybe…wanna go out on a date tomorrow night? I know a great little restaurant called The Cetra Diner only a few blocks from there. We could grab some dinner there, maybe?"

Had I been tired a moment ago? I felt as if I could have run a marathon. I could have scaled skyscrapers. Fireworks exploded, balloons floated through the air in multicolored spectacles. In the background a marching band was playing, trumpets, drums, and flutes crying out a theme of pure joy. "S-Sure," I managed to get out through the screams of pure joy threatening to burst from my throat. "I'd love that."

"Great. I'll meet you at eight, then?" Riku breathed out a sigh of relief. "Man that was harder than I'd thought. I've never really asked anyone out before."

I could only nod.

"Well, see you then." Riku touched my arm and smiled, walking out with a happy bounce to his step.

I waited until I could no longer hear his footsteps before screaming and whooping for joy, practically bouncing off the locker room walls before rushing home to share the good news.

Ladies and gentlemen, Riku Agatsuma likes me! We're going on a date! I can hardly even believe this is really happening. Am I dreaming? I hope this isn't a dream. Maybe I should pinch myself, just to make sure, even though I know it's corny.

Ow. That hurt. OK, I'm definitely not dreaming, then. (Yes!)

**www. KeybladeMaster .com  
****Blog Entry 141  
****December 19, 2009, 12:15 AM**

It's late (well, early, I guess, if you want to get all technical about it) but I'm pumped over how well my date went today (yesterday? Ah, forget it.) So that's why I'm blogging about it now…hoping to burn off some extra energy before bed.

Today was my day off, and I spent half of it trying to figure out what I'd wear that evening. When Roxas came home for lunch he found me rummaging through my closet, half of my clothes scattered over my bed and across the floor of my room.

"Sora, stop worrying," Roxas sighed. "You're going to a _diner_. Just wear whatever." He handed me a pair of baggy black pants with red pouches on the sides. "Like these. What's wrong with these pants?"

"Just wear whatever?! Roxas, this is a date!" I was shocked that my brother could be so blasé about this. "My first date in _years_! You could be more supportive!"

"Don't worry so much." Smiling slightly, my twin handed me a red and blue T-shirt and short-sleeved, black and silver hoodie. "Just be yourself, and you'll be fine, OK? Riku already likes you the way you are now, and one date isn't going to change that."

"Thanks, Rox." I gave my brother a hug. He always knows just what to say. I don't know what I'd do without him.

"No problem." Roxas hugged me back.

This sweet, brotherly moment was brought to a quick end by a loud _thunk_ from the direction of the fire escape. The two of us broke apart and ran into the living room, fearing the worst…

…Only to find Axel sprawled across the narrow iron stairs. "Owww," he groaned, rubbing his head and getting to his feet. "Stinkin' ice, always making me slip and fall down…" He glared at the steps, emerald eyes narrowed as if they were the cause of all his worldly problems.

"AXEL!"

"Uh-oh…" Axel looked up to see Roxas glaring at him with barely contained fury. Me, I was too shocked to see Axel on our fire escape, of all places, to do or say anything.

"You have five seconds to get away from our apartment…" Roxas growled out between clenched teeth, "before I get the pepper spray out."

Axel made the smart decision and ran for it.

* * *

I was at The Cetra Diner at eight sharp that evening to see Riku standing out in front, looking amazing as always in jeans, sneakers, and a black sweatshirt. His face brightened when he saw me approach. "Hey, Sora," he said. "You look good."

"Thanks," I said, smiling brightly. "So do you."

"Shall we go in?" Riku asked, slipping his hand casually into mine. His palm felt rough and slightly callused, sweaty with what I assumed were nerves, but still was wonderful against my own.

"Let's."

The Cetra Diner ended up being a great place to eat. The food was delicious and the atmosphere was warm and inviting. Riku and I were waited on by the owner herself, a motherly woman named Aerith Gainsborough. We both found ourselves relaxing soon after the salad course arrived, and were talking and laughing as easily as we'd been during our many lunches together by dessert.

We left the diner by ten, but I didn't want the evening to end just yet. So before Riku could even say anything, I blurted out, "You wanna come back to my place?"

Riku blushed deep red under the streetlights. "Sora…don't you think it's a bit soon for sex…?"

"Oh, no! That's not what I meant! No way!" I waved my hands in front of my face, feeling my own cheeks heat up as I thought about what I'd said. That had just been loaded with innuendo. Really, could I get any more stupid around Riku? "I meant, let's just hang out at my place. You can meet my brother, and we can talk…or whatever…"

"OK, that sounds good," Riku took my hand again, still blushing. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed you were asking for sex. You're not like that."

"I forgive you."

When we got back to the apartment, we were greeted by the smell of smoke. At first I thought it was coming from Axel's place (it smells like smoke in there a lot for some reason), but the smell only intensified once I'd let us inside.

"Is something burning?" Riku asked me, his nose wrinkled.

"I dunno. Roxas and I can't cook anything besides toast, so we mostly live off of takeout…Roxas! You home?" I called out for my twin.

"In here!" Roxas's voice came from the kitchen, where the burning smell was strongest.

In the kitchen I found Roxas beating at a plume of dark smoke floating from the oven with a dishtowel. "Thank the gods you're back! Help me!"

"What the hell were you _doing_ in here, Roxas?!" I cried, grabbing another dishtowel and joining my brother in beating back the smoke.

"…Baking Christmas cookies."

"_Why?_" I wailed. My brother and I had no culinary talent whatsoever, and I think Roxas had once actually burned water back at home (how he'd managed that, I still have no idea.) So why had he suddenly taken it into his head to bake cookies, of all things…?

"I don't know!" Roxas moaned. I could tell he was quickly approaching wit's end by the frenzied look in his eyes. "I was bored, and I just thought maybe I could do it and it would be nice, and there's a company baking contest coming up at work; first prize is some money, I figured we could use that…"

The smoke plume suddenly burst into a small, bright orange fire. Roxas and I screamed, dropped the dishtowels, and ran out into the hall, Riku close behind.

"Holy fuck!" Roxas yelled. "Why the hell isn't the alarm going off?!"

"How should I know?" I cried. "We need to call the fire department or something!"

"We've gotta get out of here," said Riku, ever the voice of reason. "We can call emergency services when we're somewhere safe. And I know this is a bad time, but it's a pleasure to meet you, Roxas. I'm Riku Agatsuma. Sora's told me so much about you."

"Right. All good things, I hope," said Roxas as we ran to the emergency exit. He suddenly fixed Riku with a piercing glare. "How old are you, anyway?"

"Roxas, this is no time to be an overprotective brother!" I shouted.

"Coming through!"

Riku, Roxas, and me were all shoved roughly aside by a tall, lanky red blur, which quickly made its way into our apartment. I hissed as my back made sharp, painful contact with the building's wall.

"What the hell?" Roxas ran back into the apartment, Riku and I right behind him. We all stopped in the doorway to watch something none of us ever thought we'd see in our natural lives. Roxas's mouth dropped open, but no one mentioned it.

Axel, our psychotic neighbor Axel, was fighting the fire with an extinguisher. White foam and water went everywhere, flying across the kitchen linoleum to drip in soggy little puddles on the living room carpet. But his work paid off, for only a few minutes later the fire was gone and Axel emerged from the kitchen dripping wet, hair drooping slightly from the foam but still no less red. "Gotta be careful with those ovens," he said, grinning and flashing a thumbs-up.

"Axel…you…you saved our home…" Roxas whispered, his eyes looking as if they were about to pop out of his head. "I don't know how we can ever repay you."

"Ah, you don't have to," said Axel shaking his hair out and spraying flecks of foam everywhere. "I know a lot about fire. Used to set fires in my younger days. It's why Merlin's alarm isn't very sensitive…sometimes I still get the urge to set something ablaze, y'know? I pay extra rent to make up for it." With that, he tucked the fire extinguisher under his arm and made to head back to his apartment.

"Axel, wait," Roxas said.

Our neighbor stopped in the doorway, the beginnings of a catlike smirk on his face contrasting with the eager gleam in his eyes. "Ye-es?"

"Do you want to maybe come over tomorrow and have some ice cream? It's not much, but we don't have a lot of money and I still feel like I have to pay you back somehow. If it wasn't for you, we'd be homeless now." A slight blush spread over Roxas's cheeks as he spoke, and I again had to wonder just what he felt for Axel Pyru.

Axel smiled, a genuine one this time. "I'd like that," he said softly, before going back to his own apartment.

"I'm going to bed now," said Roxas, in that tone of voice that clearly says discussing what just happened will result in quick, painful death.

"I'll walk Riku out," I said, taking Riku by the hand and leading him outside. The cold night air felt wonderful on my cheeks after what had just happened in the apartment, and I had to restrain myself from breathing it in great gulps.

"I had a lot of fun tonight, Sora," Riku said as we walked to the bus stop.

"Really? Despite my apartment nearly burning down?"

"Well…at least there's never a dull moment, right?"

I laughed. "You can say that again."

"I'd love to do this again sometime," Riku said as his bus pulled into the stop. "See you at work?"

"Yeah, definitely." I smiled, another one of my cheesy grins for when I'm really happy, and Riku smiled too, and kissed me quickly on the cheek before getting on the bus. We waved goodbye to each other as it pulled away.

Riku likes me, the apartment is safe and sound, and Roxas might end up dating Axel. I don't know how life could get any more perfect right now.

**www. KeybladeMaster .com  
****Blog Entry 142  
****December 23, 2009, 11:56 PM**

I was just looking over my last few blog entries before writing this one. I can't believe how happy I was, and how quickly it's all fallen apart. I was on top of the world, and now I only want to crawl under my bed and never come out. I'm so angry, I feel like punching something…or someone. Preferably Riku Agatsuma's stupid face.

The last few days were absolutely amazing. Riku and I spent every free moment we had together, holding hands and laughing about stupid things like how much shampoo Sephiroth must go through in a week for his hair. We'd visit each other's apartments at night and sit together on the couches and in the bedrooms, Riku telling me how perfect and amazing I was, and me saying the same things right back to him. We hadn't actually kissed yet…I was nervous, and I think Riku was too, though he never admitted it…but I could tell we were getting close.

But only a few hours earlier, I was walking home past Seventh Heaven when the door to the bar flew open-it almost hit me in the face; however, I managed to stop just in time-and a guy was tossed out into the streets. Though he was staggering and quite obviously drunk, I would have recognized his muscled form anywhere…how many times had I looked at it now, giddy with my good fortune?

"Riku?" I called out, not daring to believe this could be my boyfriend tripping over his own feet in the gutters outside a bar, not _wanting_ to believe it. But then he turned his head in my direction, and I felt something inside ripping up at the sight of his silver hair, now messy and tangled, and his icy blue eyes clouded and foggy with alcohol, unable to focus on me.

The bar door opened again and another man was tossed outside. This one was taller than Riku and me, and was dressed all in dark clothing. I caught a glimpse of long brown hair and grey eyes before he crashed into Riku, knocking my boyfriend over into the slushy puddles of half-melted snow that lined the city sidewalks and then just lying there, on top of him.

"Riku!" I yelled, running to help him. I could get him back to his apartment, get him cleaned up, we could pretend this whole thing had never even happened…

Then I saw that Riku didn't _want_ to get up. Him and the brown-haired guy on top of him were kissing, long and slow and deep, running their hands over each other's bodies in ways Riku and I hadn't dared to touch each other yet. Watching as the brown-haired man slipped his tongue into Riku's mouth, and Riku grunted and pulled him closer instead of pushing him away…I felt something in my chest constricting around my windpipe so that I could hardly even breathe. It was like falling off a tall cliff into icy water, shocking and painful and ripping the breath from one's lungs, all at once.

I turned and ran. It was all I could do, all I could think of doing. The only thing running through my head was that I had to _get away_, get away get away get away, echoing like a mantra.

I think Riku noticed me then, because I heard him stirring behind me and slurring out, "Sora…wait…" but I didn't stop. How could I stop and listen to him now, when I felt tears stinging my eyes and all I wanted to do was scream?

I got home to an empty apartment and a hastily scribbled note from Roxas saying he was at Axel's and I was welcome to come over there when I got back. Roxas has been spending a lot of time at Axel's apartment lately, and although he still won't actually admit to anything, I've seen glimpses of what look like hickeys on his neck and he's taken to wearing high-collared shirts lately. That's why I can't go over there now and see them together. It would only make me more miserable. So instead I'm writing this blog entry, and I have absolutely no idea what to do anymore.

**Author's Note****: And so I leave you this Christmas with an incredibly long chapter, a poor excuse for a cliffhanger, and angst galore. Don't worry, there will be a happy ending! You guys looked kind of worried, so I thought I'd just reassure you. It's only whether or not Sora will end up with Riku that's in question now…-is shot-**

**I do have a bit of bad news. I don't think I'll be able to finish this up today. As it is, I was up 'til 12:30 AM typing the last chapter. I still have to reply to all my wonderful reviewers too, which is something I haven't done because I was writing this chapter. (Ah, writers and their masochistic tendencies.) But never fear, dear readers, this Fic will be finished! I'll get the last chapter out for you guys sometime after Christmas but before New Year's. And next time, please remind me to start Christmas Fics a little earlier. Like in October.**

**REVIEW CORNER**** Thanks for Reviewing: **Nekotsubasa, Revolution Remix IX, XxGoodGirlGoneTobixX, Solo-chan, LILMISSS, Jellicle-Wishes, XIIIAnonymous, Tysonkaiexperiment, moon maiden of time

**Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! (dramatic bow)**

** ~LWD~**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note****: Happy New Year everyone! (throws sparkly confetti up in the air in celebration) And isn't it fitting that my first post of 2010 should be the final chapter of this little tale? I apologize for the lateness as well. I meant to have this out last week, but between post-holiday activities and family stuff, I just never got a chance to start typing. But it's here now, and that's all that matters, right? -is shot- **

**Finally, a great big THANK YOU to all my readers and reviewers out there. You guys all brightened my day (not to mention my Inbox) with your kind words of encouragement, and made my holiday great. Love you all!**

**DISCLAIMER****: My holiday presents this year did not include the rights to "Kingdom Hearts." Way to let a girl down, Santa! -_- "Kingdom Hearts" still belongs to Tetsuya Nomura, Squeenix, and Disney, Inc. I own nothing and make no money off writing this Fic. Also, I don't own "SantaLand Diaries."**

**DEDICATION****: In case anyone out there wasn't paying attention the first four times, this entire Fic was a Christmas gift for **moon maiden of time**. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I hope this last chapter meets your approval. ;)**

**And now…the conclusion of "Go Elf Yourself."**

"Sora! Wait, please…just stop for a second and listen to me!"

Sora turned around in the doorway of the locker rooms to glare at Riku, and the older boy had to suppress a shudder at how furious the younger one could look, even while wearing a jolly green elf costume. Even the brown spikes of hair sticking out from beneath his jingle bell cap were quivering with suppressed rage.

"And why," Sora ground out through clenched teeth, "would I want to listen to anything _you_ have to say anymore?"

"Look, I'm sorry about what happened two nights ago. I was shit-faced drunk, and I don't remember much other than entering the bar and then waking up at home the next day with a splitting headache, and a voicemail from your brother threatening me extreme bodily harm…" Riku knew he was babbling, but he couldn't think of anything to say that would win back Sora's forgiveness. When the silver-haired boy had figured out what he'd done from Roxas's message, he couldn't have been more disgusted with himself. All that mattered to him now was getting Sora, that perfect and amazing boy who made him so happy, back.

"Riku, I really don't care about what happened the other night anymore," Sora turned away to enter the locker rooms. "Just leave me alone."

"Two minutes, Sora! Please!" Riku was getting desperate now. "Just give me two minutes to explain myself."

The brunet rolled his eyes at the ceiling in frustration, but relented. "Fine. Two minutes, and that's _it_. Then I have to go on Santa duty. With you, unfortunately."

Riku immediately lunged into an explanation. "Look, what I did was terrible. I know it was. I ran into a friend of mine from college, someone I've always had a kind of…rivalry with, I guess…and he challenged me to a drinking contest at the bar while we were catching up."

"Of course he did. Then you showed great judgement and maturity by taking him up on it, obviously. Tell me, Riku, have you and this guy ever had anything in the past?"

"Well…uhh…" Riku was suddenly finding the dirty floor tiles absolutely fascinating, much more so than the growing fury in Sora's eyes. "Maybe? But it was a really long time ago, honestly! Leon was going through kind of an awkward period then. He doesn't even consider himself gay now, not really, more what you might call 'confused…'"

"So your friend's name is _Leon_, hmm?" Riku hadn't thought Sora could get any angrier, but apparently he'd been wrong. He could practically feel that deep blue glare boring into him. "I see how it is here."

"Y-you do?" Riku looked up at Sora again, hopeful for the first time now.

"Yes. You're obviously a selfish asshole who doesn't care about anyone but himself. So how many other guys have you been kissing other than Leon and me when you're out getting drunk, huh Riku?"

"But I can't turn Leon down when he challenges me to something, Sora!" Riku all but wailed. "He always calls my manliness into question."

Sora snorted derisively. "We're through here, Riku. You better get changed, your shift starts in ten seconds." And with that the brunet stormed into the locker rooms to finish getting ready, leaving Riku alone and miserable in the back hall.

* * *

**www. KeybladeMaster .com  
****Blog Entry 143  
****December 24, 2009, 11:15 PM**

Today was my last day of work, and it was the craziest day we've had so far. For some reason, I hadn't thought too many people would be coming to see Santa on Christmas Eve. I was kinda figuring they'd opt for some last minute shopping instead. Boy, was I wrong. The line was so long that we had to send Demyx (who miraculously somehow remained our happiest, peppiest elf all night long) down by the elevators to tell people that no, it would not actually take them an hour to see Santa Claus. The line only looked longer than it really was. I was grateful that we were able to keep things moving; I've already witnessed how crazy people get if they can't see Santa and I don't ever wanna go there again.

Today was better than yesterday, but only by a little bit, because I had Santa duty with that evil pretty boy _Riku_, of course. It would have tolerable if he'd at least stuck to his job and hadn't been trying to get me to forgive him all day long. But he did, and I've never been more embarrassed in my life.

It's not like I was gonna forgive him at all, anyway. After yesterday morning, I can't believe he even had the nerve to try and talk to me at all. I mean, I woke up crying yesterday, which is something I hadn't done in years. Roxas had been trying to talk Axel out of making a Riku voodoo doll and sticking the pins in a rather sensitive area. But when he heard me he came in, took one look at me and called the department store to tell them I needed a personal day. (Since Roxas could send a deranged, evil zombie back to its grave with only a look when he's in a temper, it worked and I got the day off. He also got the assistant manager instead of Larxene on the phone, which helped.) I spent the rest of that day lying in bed and staring out the window at nothing, hoping and praying that Riku would call me. He could beg for forgiveness, or tell me I'd only dreamed up the whole thing, and that he would never, ever kiss a man in the gutter while drunk. Either way, I'd forgive him, because that's just how I _am_, and all would be well again. But the only time the phone rang that day, it ended up being mom checking up on us.

As I lay there, unmoving, Roxas and Axel sat and talked to me. Axel suggested we go and set Riku's apartment on fire, while Roxas alternated between swearing violently and telling me it wasn't my fault and that I'd find someone else soon, someone better. And I started to get angry. Riku had no right to upset me this way. He had no right to make me get all broken up inside and have to take off work. Who was he to decide how _I_ felt by _his _selfish actions? I decided I'd be better off without someone like him in my life. There was no point in even bothering with him anymore. From now on, I wasn't going to think about Riku ever again. I was going to move on with my life, leaving all my memories of him locked away in the dust of my mind.

(For some reason, it kind of hurt to write that. But then, yesterday wasn't an easy day for me period.)

This morning I got up and got ready for work as usual. As I was getting my usual toast from the toaster on my way to the door, Roxas came into the kitchen and asked me how I was.

"Fine," I said, even flashing him a big, cheery grin to prove it.

Roxas was shocked, obviously not believing I could be "fine" after what Riku had done. "Are you sure? You're not gonna _forgive_ him, are you?" He asked. After all, I've forgiven much worse. I forgave Wakka, after all, for somehow drowning my goldfish when I was ten. He was supposed to be watching it while I went on vacation with my family. (No wonder his parents never got him a pet.)

"Nope. I never wanna see Riku's stupid face ever again," I said, and headed out the door, leaving my brother completely nonplussed behind me.

At work, Riku tried the usual "I'm sorry, please forgive me," crap that never works, not even in the movies, on me. I wouldn't have any of it, of course, and Riku ended up being late for his shift. When he finally came out he was dragging his feet, and even his fake beard seemed to be drooping with despair. I almost felt sorry for him, until I remembered how _I'd_ felt over the past two days. Then I just turned back to entertaining the kid in front of me.

But Mr. Pretty Silver Hair just couldn't give up, oh no. He started actually _using the kids_ to try and get me to forgive him. For example, after one little girl climbed on Riku's lap and asked him for a pony for Christmas, she said, "Hey Santa, you always ask kids what they want for Christmas every year. I wanna know, what do _you_ want for Christmas?"

Riku sighed and looked at the girl with a wistful smile behind the beard. Even I leaned in slightly, curious as to what he'd say. In all my time here as an elf, I'd never once heard a kid ask Santa Claus what _he _wanted for Christmas before.

"Little girl," Riku said, "I'd like my boyfriend to forgive me. You see, I made an absolutely horrible mistake a few days ago, and he's quite angry with me now because of it. I'd love, more than anything else in the whole wide world, to have a second chance with him."

I couldn't say or think anything for a moment out of sheer surprise. Then the girl, eyes as big as saucers, cried out, "You have a _boyfriend_? But…but what about Mrs. Claus? Does she know about him?"

"Uhh…" Riku shifted uncomfortably in his seat for a moment before reaching into his pocket and taking out a ten dollar bill. "I'll give you this money if you promise not to tell anyone we had that conversation," he whispered to the girl.

"Hey! The girl cried, suddenly indignant. "You promised me twenty dollars if I asked you what you wanted for Christmas!" She leapt off Riku's lap and ran out the exit, shouting, "MOMMY! SANTA CHEATED ME!"

Riku shot me a sheepish grin, but I just rolled my eyes and glared up at the ceiling. Bribing small children to try and get back into my good graces…what a bastard. I don't even know what I saw in him to start with.

Just before my lunch break, three small boys ran up to me and pulled on my tunic to get me to bend down to their level. Smiling, figuring they just wanted to whisper "Merry Christmas" in my ear like a few of the other kids, I crouched down on my knees for them. "OK guys, what's up?" I asked with my best and most cheerful elf smile.

"Santa asked me to tell you that you're the cutest little elf in here," one of the boys said with a giggle, and I felt my cheeks heat up.

"He also wants to know if you'll 'guide his sleigh tonight.' What does that mean?" The second boy said. I was so embarrassed, I wished the floor would just open up and swallow me whole. Hell, I had no idea what that meant, and it still sounded full of innuendo!

"Finally, Santa would like to know if you'll meet him under the mistletoe tonight, Mr. Elf," said the third boy, the very picture of politeness. Certain I was beet red by now, I got up and ushered the kids out the exit.

"Go on home kids, Merry Christmas, and just forget you ever even _looked_ at that man!" I cried. Turning to glare at Santa's throne, I saw Riku give me a little wave before the next kid got up on his lap.

Words could not express how angry I was with Riku at that moment. Since I wasn't allowed to hit him at work, I just flipped him off. I think Cloud saw me though, because he told me I could go on lunch break then.

"And you're on cash register duty when you get back, Sora!" Cloud called after me as I went off to the food court. "I don't know what it is, but something you're doing is distracting Riku, and he needs to focus for the last half of his shift."

While I was working the register I managed to set off the store alarm four times by pressing the wrong buttons, each time causing the people waiting to see Santa to yell at me and at each other. One old lady standing near me started shrieking her head off about the world ending and something called "Jenova" coming to eat our souls. Sephiroth had to go up and down the line reassuring people that the sound of the alarm did not, in this case, mean that a crisis was imminent. "It just means there is a small internal problem that will soon be fixed by management," he said, giving me a look that I'm sure meant he wished me a slow, painful death.

(Note to Self: Watch out for Sephiroth.)

As the evening wound down and the department store started to announce that it was closing over the intercom, people finally started to leave. When there were only three kids left to sit on Santa's lap, Demyx was asked to clean the loose change out of one of the robot nutcracker's mouths.

For some reason I don't really understand, people seemed to think that the holiday-themed robots surrounding Santa's throne were the equivalent of some kind of wishing well. So they were always tossing their spare change into the nutcrackers' mouths and down the little holes around the brims of the robot snowmens' hats. For the past two weeks, one or two employees have been removing the coins from the robots every day. I had to do it once, and it was really horrible. I don't know when the last time they cleaned the nutcracker robots was. Probably back when Larxene was actually nice to her employees or something.

I asked Cloud once where the money went, and he told me the store donates it to charity. However, I saw Larxene stuffing some coins down her bra once, and the kids are always sticking their hands in the robots when the parents aren't looking and pulling out nickels and quarters. I heard Sephiroth complaining about the janitors in here snitching dimes as well, so I don't think much of the change, if any, actually ends up going to charities.

Anyway, I had to turn off the register and lock the cash drawer for the night, so I wasn't paying any attention to Demyx. That is, until I heard him screaming bloody murder only a few minutes later. Looking over, I saw Demyx standing stock-still and looking like he was in a state of extreme panic. The robot was toppling over, its hinged mouth agape, and if Demyx didn't move _now_ he'd be crushed under that heavy metal thing.

There wasn't time to get help, and no one else was around, so I started over to grab Demyx and pull him away. But before I'd taken two steps, a green and grey blur raced over faster than I had thought possible and shoved Demyx aside, literally two seconds before the robot fell to the ground with a loud metallic _clang_.

Two feet away from the fallen nutcracker lay Demyx and Zexion, sprawled in a heap on the floor. For a moment nobody, including me, could move. My heart was practically leaping from my chest, and I'd be willing to bet this week's pay Demyx and Zexion both felt the same.

"Zexy," Demyx finally said, quieter than I've ever heard him before. "You…you saved my life."

"It was nothing," Zexion grunted, picking himself up and extending a hand to help the other boy to his feet.

"Yes it _was_! That thing started wobbling when I stuck my hand into it to get the money out…must not have been secured to the floor, I guess. It tipped over, and I couldn't believe it was even happening to me! I was scared, I thought I was gonna die or lose my job or become horribly, horribly disfigured…and then you came out of nowhere and saved me. _Why_, Zexy, I thought you hated me…?"

"You talk too damn much," Zexion all but growled, and then two seconds later he was attacking Demyx's mouth. For a moment Demyx looked like he was going to fall over from pure shock. But then he sort of sighed a little, wrapped his arms around Zexion, and kissed him right back.

As I watched this, I felt something constrict in my chest, as if an iron band was tightening around my heart. All I could think of was Riku, and how him and me had never even gotten to the kissing part of our relationship before it ended. Then I felt tears in my eyes again, so I quietly slipped into the locker rooms, changed clothes in a record five minutes, and left for home. Demyx and Zexion didn't even know I saw them.

So that's my Christmas Eve for you. Everyone around me seems to be coupling up, and I'm all by myself. Well, at least Cloud said he'd be able to get me a permanent job in the sock department because of my good work as an elf, so at least I don't need to look for more work after this gig.

(Oh joy. Socks. Well, I shouldn't be complaining, any job is better than nothing.)

Anyway, I'd better hit the sack now, because it's getting pretty late. Roxas went to bed half an hour ago, and Axel passed out on our couch after drinking too much (non-alcoholic) egg-nog, and singing a horrible rendition of "Silent Night." So a merry Christmas Eve to anyone out there reading, and may visions of sugarplums dance through your heads!

Whatever the hell sugarplums are.

**www. KeybladeMaster .com  
****Blog Entry 144  
****December 25, 2009, 8:33 PM**

gabxaabsacjbacjbwjdw…I can't even believe today really happened. O.O

Yeah, I know, I just did the universal line of incomprehensible text that means I can't string together a decent sentence. Followed up by an emoticon, too! I said that when I started this blog that there would be no chatspeak and no emoticons ruining its flow, only good, Standard English. (English was what I majored in during college, you know. And does anyone remember that song from the "Avenue Q" musical, "What Do You Do With a B.A. in English?" It's true. So very, very true.) So chatspeak followed up by an emoticon in my blog can only mean that something completely and utterly _epic_ has just occurred.

Let me start from the beginning.

Since it's Christmas Day, I woke up at the insanely early hour of 7 AM. Then I went and woke Roxas up by yelling that it was Christmas and he had to get up _right now_ so we could exchange presents. As usual, he threw a pillow at me and told me to go back to sleep, but I just jumped on his bed saying "it's Christmastime, Roxy!" in that really annoying sing-song voice he hates.

Finally he sat up yelling, "Fine Sora! We'll do presents now, OK? Then I'm going back to bed, dammit!"

I've been doing this every year on Christmas since we can both remember. I'm not planning on stopping, either, so you'd think Roxas would learn to grin and bear it by now. Well, what can I say, he's stubborn. (Roxas never actually goes back to bed after presents though. He's always too happy and excited by then, which means I've done my job as a bringer of Christmas joy at incredibly early morning hours.)

We both headed into the living room, Roxas grumbling the whole time about crazy sadistic twin brothers who wouldn't let him sleep. We found Axel already up, wearing nothing but old pajama pants, and drinking more egg-nog straight out of the carton.

This was not exactly what I wanted to see first thing Christmas morning. Not that Axel's ugly or anything, he's just not my type. "Ugh, Axel, put some clothes on, will you!" I cried, shielding my eyes from the sight of my half-naked neighbor right in front of me.

"Aw, come on Sora, Roxas loves this!" Axel cried, spreading his arms to show off even more bare skin. The pajama pants slipped a few inches down his waist, and I really hoped they didn't fall off and leave nothing to the imagination. Oh, the horror.

Roxas snatched the egg-nog out of Axel's hands. "Put a shirt on, will you?" He muttered. "And don't drink from the carton, that's disgusting."

"So you _don't_ like having my spit on the carton, then?" Axel smirked and turned back to the freezer. "I was going to make you guys breakfast, but all you seem to have in here is ice cream. Is that some sort of fetish I should know about?"

I could sense what was about to come with my amazing Twin Intuition (or maybe it was just the way Roxas's eye started twitching.) So I went quietly back to my room and quietly shut the door, trying to drown out the sounds of Roxas hitting Axel over the head with the egg-nog carton and swearing at him.

Finally, after Roxas had calmed down and Axel had changed into a decent shirt and pants, we settled down in the living room and exchanged gifts. I gave Roxas a fire extinguisher with smiley faces on it, which we both agreed was a very practical yet still incredibly cool gift. Roxas gave me the last season of _Man vs. Wonderland _on DVD. (What can I say, it never gets old watching a guy try to fight his way out of a pack of vicious living playing cards.) Axel gave Roxas the biggest box of fancy assorted chocolates I've ever seen in my life, as well as a bunch of very secretive looking DVDs that I think were porn (Roxas went scarlet when he opened them up, which only furthered my suspicions.) Axel gave me a present too, which I thought was really nice since he's only known me about a month now. It ended up being a book called Arson for Beginners.

Well, it's the thought that counts, right?

We spent the rest of the morning relaxing around the living room and listening to Christmas carols. Axel kept trying to get Roxas to make out with him on the couch, but my brother kept shoving him away. "Sora's right _there_!" Roxas hissed, pointing at me.

"Sora can join in! I don't mind, he's pretty cute," Axel said, throwing me a huge wink.

I cracked up, practically falling off the armchair I was sitting on. "You're terrible, Axel!" I managed to gasp out.

"You really are," Roxas laughed too after a few minutes, lightly smacking his boyfriend on the arm.

Then there was a knock on the door. Roxas and I looked up, brows furrowing in confusion.

"Who could that be?" Roxas wondered.

"You weren't expecting anyone?" Axel asked.

"Nope," I said, as I got up to get the door. "Our parents are back home in Destiny Islands, and we don't really know a lot of people here yet…" I opened the door.

On the other side was Santa Claus.

For one brief, insane second, I thought it actually _was_ Santa on the other side of the door. All my childhood dreams had finally come true! Now the man in red was actually paying me a visit, because I was a good person and still believed in him, deep down.

Then I noticed the silver hair peeking out under the red and white hat, and the exotic aquamarine eyes sparkling above the white beard, and I knew who it really was.

"Merry Christmas!" Riku said in his best jolly old Santa voice. He must have been really nervous though, because he was stuttering. So it really sounded like, "M-mer-ry Ch-Chris-ist-mas!"

I tried to shut the door again, but Riku grabbed it. "Please Sora, just let me in for a minute!" He said, eyes pleading.

"No! Go away and leave me alone! It's Christmas, for Heaven's sake; don't you have anything better to do?!" I muttered. We battled with the front door a moment, me trying to shut it and Riku trying to keep it open.

"Sora, what's going on? Is everything OK?" Roxas asked. I turned my head an inch to see him and Axel behind me, both craning their necks to see who was at the door.

That gave Riku the advantage he needed. While I was distracted, he gave the door a last good shove, sending it flying open and me stumbling back a few feet. I managed to catch myself before I fell, luckily. Axel's and Roxas's mouths fell open to see Riku, in a Santa suit, come in and fall down in front of me on his knees, head bowed.

"Sora," said Axel, sounding more confused than I'd ever heard him before, "who the hell is this clown?"

"Guys," I said, not sure what to do now, "you remember Riku."

"I'm calling the cops," Roxas said, making a run for the kitchen phone.

"Could you let me have a moment to speak first, please?" Riku asked softly from his spot on the floor. "If…if Sora is still angry with me after that, I'll go. You can call the police, get a restraining order, whatever you want. I won't ever bother Sora again."

"After what you did to my brother? No way!" Roxas yanked the phone off the hook and punched a button.

"Roxas." I laid a hand on my brother to calm him, and he lowered the phone, regarding me warily. ""It's Christmas. Let him have his say." I had to give Riku a chance. He'd come out here dressed in a Santa costume for me, when he could have easily just given up after what had happened at the department store. The least I could do was listen to him.

Roxas looked annoyed, but hung the phone up anyway. "This better be good," he growled at Riku.

"Thank you, Sora." Still on his knees, as if he felt he didn't deserve to do this standing, Riku began to talk. "I don't think I ever told you how much I care about you, Sora. This bothers me a lot. So let me start now, from the beginning.

"From the first moment I saw you at the café, you looked more amazing than anyone I'd ever met before in my life. Sitting there and eating, looking out the window and smiling like you didn't have a care in the world…I was surprised by how much I just wanted to hold you and never let you go, right then and there. I just had to talk to you.

"And you were so _easy_ to talk to, Sora. It was like we'd known each other forever. But when you left that night, I was practically beating myself upside the head. I hadn't gotten your phone number, your e-mail address, or even your last name. How was I going to talk to you again?

"Then I remembered you said you'd gotten a job at Radiant Garden as an elf. I ran over to the store and begged them to let me have a job. Sephiroth wasn't too eager about hiring me, because they already had all the Santa Clauses they needed for the season and I was too tall to be an elf. Then Cloud came in, took one look at me, and said I passed the sanity requirement to work as a Santa. He told me I was hired. Then Cloud and Sephiroth started arguing about it, but I didn't care, because I was in. I was going to see you again, and I felt like I could have scaled mountaintops from sheer joy.

"When we started dating, I was on Cloud 9, as cheesy as that may sound. I woke up thinking about you and fell asleep thinking about you. You were perfect for me. You were cheerful when I was sad, sweet when I…wasn't, and smart when I was being stupid. I was going to do all I could to make sure I was perfect for you as well. Then I messed up my perfect relationship. I took what made me happy and threw it away. I-"

"He cries himself to sleep at night!" A guy with chin-length dirty blond hair and bright blue eyes stuck his head in the door and grinned from ear to ear, giving us all a little wave.

"What the _fuck_?!" Roxas cried. "This is an apartment, not a library! Why are so many people coming in here?"

"This is Tidus. My roommate," Riku growled out. He was blushing tomato red from the roots of his hair all the way down his neck from embarrassment. "Tidus, this is everyone. And _you weren't supposed to come in here, you idiot_!"

"Hi everyone!" Tidus said cheerfully. "Riku had me come along as moral support. He was really nervous about this. But I was waiting in the lobby for ten minutes already, and your landlord was starting to give me funny looks, so I decided to just come on up. And Sora…whichever one of you guys is Sora…"

"_The brunet_."

"Well, you should really just take Riku back. He couldn't stop talking about you while you guys were together, and now he can't stop crying over you now that you're not together. All he does is mope around the apartment, being more emo than he usually he is. It's really annoying, lemme tell ya."

"Tidus…" Riku groaned, falling face-first onto the floor.

Tidus just kept going, though. "Whatever he did, don't take it personally. Riku does stupid shit all the time. But he really, honestly cares about you, Sora. You should take him back."

"Tidus." Riku said again, voice muffled slightly because his face was buried in the carpet.

"Want me to leave now?"

"Yes please, before I castrate you."

"See ya at home, buddy!" Just like that, Tidus was gone. Axel and Roxas just stared after him. No one said anything for a few minutes, out of shock and (in my case) the roiling mess of feelings flinging themselves around my intestines.

"I didn't even know people like that existed," Axel finally said after a few minutes.

"Sora," Roxas said, turning to me with an expression of concern, "you're crying."

I touched my face, and sure enough, my fingers came back wet. "Oh," I mumbled, quickly wiping my cheeks with the back of my arm. "Guess I am."

"I got you something," Riku said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, black velvet box, which he then held up to me.

"Oh Riku, you _didn't_. I forgive you already, sheesh." I groaned, reaching down and pulling him to his feet. I yanked off the beard and Santa hat while I was at it, revealing Riku's face. "I missed you a lot too. Just ask Roxas."

"If you ever do anything stupid like that again…" My brother said in his best (read: scariest) warning tone. Good ol' Roxas, always looking out for me.

"I won't. I promise," Riku said, completely serious. He pressed the box into my hand. "Take it."

I opened up the black velvet box to find, resting on a little cushion inside, a silver crown-shaped pendant hanging from a thick chain. "Riku!" I yelled, throwing myself at him and hugging him tightly around the waist. How he'd gotten that…We'd passed one of Hollow Bastion's high-end jewelry stores weeks ago when out walking, and I'd been admiring that very necklace in the display window. But the price tag attached had been too much for me to even think about buying it. I thought it had been too much for Riku, too.

Riku chuckled, a deep rumbling sound in his chest. "I knew you'd like it," he said, wrapping his arms tight around me.

"I love it! You shouldn't have spent so much…"

"Don't worry about it. One of my paintings sold well, so I had some extra money around." Then Riku gently lifted my chin up so that I was facing him, and we kissed for the first time.

It was indescribable. No really, it was. There were no fireworks, no violins in the background, no twinkling stars and fat moon overhead. Just me and Riku, in a quiet apartment on a quiet Christmas morning, sharing this moment together.

"Aw, that's so sweet. A happy ending," Axel said cheerfully behind me. "Hey Roxas, wanna go fuck?"

And…well, that's about it. We all had dinner together like a big family at the Cetra Diner this evening (it was the only place that was open, and no one had time to cook anything, what with everything that happened today.) Riku's staying in my room, and Axel is staying in Roxas's. I'm not quite sure what's going to happen tonight, but Riku and I will take it nice and easy, don't worry. (Oh crap, there's more innuendo…) Riku's actually calling for me to finish up and come to bed now, so I will.

All in all, this was the best Christmas ever. I hope you readers out there all got what you wanted for Christmas too.

Much love,  
Sora Aoyagi

P.S. Thanks to all the people out there who made this one of the most highly read blogs this year! I appreciate it!

**Authors' Note****: It's…it's done. IT'S DONE!!! -flailflailflail, followed by Happy Dance- I wanted to split it into two parts, since this chapter is, according to Microsoft Word, FOURTEEN PAGES LONG O.O, but I didn't for several reasons. One, it's already way past Christmas, this is way overdue, and splitting it into two parts would only have kept it unfinished longer. Two, one part would have been filled with ridiculous amounts of angst, thus keeping all my readers miserable even longer. This is a Christmas Fic, therefore no one is allowed to be miserable. ;)**

**So it's done. Again, thank you for reading. If you reviewed, go eat a cookie right now and pretend it's from me. :)**

**REVIEW CORNER**** Thanks for Reviewing: **becoafamu, Neo Lady Sakura, Jellicle-Wishes, Solo-chan, Enli, XIIIAnonymous, Nekotsubasa, MrMissMrsRandom, mociusagi, moon maiden of time

**Sayonara for now! (bows)**

**~LWD~**


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